Sarah had her week 13 scan yesterday, which was a great
time! Our ultrasonographer is really nice, and has a number of typical trademark jokes which are world famous in our neck of the woods... he hasn't tried any of them on us directly yet, but I know they are on their way sooner or later.
The NT test result is fine. In his words we have a perfect looking baby. Nice to hear, but I'm sure he says that to all the parents he scans!
Here is our latest picture of Emby...
During the last scan we had we got to see a faint flicker that indicated the heart beat, and that was a very relieving sight to see (It seems like so long ago!), but yesterday we got to hear the heart beat, only briefly, but it was music to my ears I tell you!
Sarah now feels like it's a bit more real. We also had an appointment with our midwife today - she is really nice. I missed most of it because I was working, but I was able to meet her during my lunch break, and I managed to catch some of the conversation. I think we can both be happy with her as our midwife.
Sometimes it does seem a little surreal and rather dream like with all of this going on. It's a real challenge to let myself believe that everything could actually be ok, and that we can actually enjoy this time and process and it could actually turn out just fine. Maybe we don't need to second guess what will happen. Up until now we've felt that it's safest not to get too emotionally attached to the idea that we may actually get a healthy and beautiful baby at the end of all of this - but maybe we can allow ourselves the luxury of believing? Sarah said to me before the scan that she felt like seeing the baby in the scan would make it seem less like a trick, and more like a reality that there was a baby inside her. I think that is a good summary of how we've been thinking until now. It's seemed easier to think of it as simply a positive test, and a blob on an untrasound scan (let's face it - those have been the only proofs we've had that there was a baby), than the very real possibility of a little human life being born to us in about 6 months time. It's almost too exciting to bear thinking about! I can't remember which movie I've heard this phrase off but it fits... "Even whispering the words could cause it to vanish" - well it was something like that... Basically it has almost felt like if we were to talk about having a baby, the whole thing could vanish as if it were a mist on a hot summer day.
But now we have an abstract image to call OUR baby! God has truly given us so much more than we deserve. When having a baby is something that you struggle to do - pregnancy is never taken for granted, and our Baby (if I dare say it...) WHEN it is born, will be the greatest treasure we've been given.